I don't love having this thing just sit empty... The May, 2010 heading looming there at the top, all the way into March, 2011. But it has been a difficult year for words. A difficult year for updates. I knew that this year would be hard before it even began... our ever-present quest for a baby, our quest that, month after month, proves to be beyond our control, hangs over me like a cloud. A cloud of bitterness, longing, anger, jealousy.... a cloud of pretty much everything I hate. But it won't go away. And this has affected my contentment and joy toward teaching. I have been so, so hard on myself this year. I tell myself and believe the most horrible things about my competency at my job. I can't be as bad as I think I am, but I still believe it. A few weeks ago, my doctor upped my anxiety meds. It seems to be helping. I've had a few good weeks. Maybe they will stick. So there I am. It's been a rough year. I could say more about it, but it gets pretty repetitive. And...