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Just a few random thoughts...

On Fall:

My memories are contained in the seasons. Even more so than in music, the seasons have the ability to transport me to another time and place. Particularly the Fall.

California has more of a Fall than I thought it would. I don't need much of a Fall to be affected; a little cold weather and a a smidge of new color in the trees is enough to do it for me. The leaves have not changed here, but one tree in the back has grown tons of beautiful fall-colored berries. And it has been breezy and cold, much like a Texas Fall.

During the Fall, I am transported to my freshman year of college. I am 17 (almost 18) years old, and I am living on the campus of Louisiana College. Fall transforms LC into heaven, and I spent the majority of this semester outside on a swing, bench or picnic table.

I was taking Old Testament, and this class was stretching my mind in ways I had not expected, causing me to question both my faith and my view of the Bible. This was not ok with me, and my time outside consisted of many conversations with the Lord about the nature and authority of his word. My closed-in mind wasn't able to contain the new ideas and thoughts floating around in it. It broke me in many ways. And though I have come to see that breaking as a good thing, the difficulty of that time is strong in my mind.

I was also transitioning regarding my timid, shy personality. I was forced to deal with professors and classmates and open myself up in ways that terrified me. No longer could I rely on my mom to make phone calls from me. Not even Kayla could take care of me the way I thought I needed to be taken care of. I was forced to do more on my own than I thought I possibly could, and this stretched the part of me that really was still only about 5 years old inside, causing her to grow faster than she thought possible.

And I had fallen in love, despite my firm convictions to be free of the "snares" of dating throughout my college years. This love terrified me, so I kept it in, and I ended up losing a friendship over it (It was not until I met my husband that I was able to combine friendship with love. I still don't get how I can love this man so freaking much and yet not be afraid of sharing every part of myself with him. It is one of the aspects of my marriage that is most precious and miraculous to me). It humbled me in so many ways, those unpredictable, un-tamable emotions of mine, and it wasn't until the following Fall that I fully recovered from this heartache.

It has been 9 years since this time, and yet still this season brings me back to it. And I lose myself in it. It is bitter sweet, as I did grow during this time more than any other period of my life. And I fell in love with Jesus, clinging to him in a desperate way, spending hours walking through the "woods" next to my dorm, staring at the sky and talking to him as I would a friend.

These are my memories of Fall, the memories that I very rarely share, but which cause me to be just a little extra emotional and dreamy this time of year.


On the Election:

It was beautiful. Seeing Barack's picture and name on the television screen which declared him the 44th president of the United States was beautiful. Watching him walk on stage with his head down, almost bashful, but yet still so damn strong and confident, was beautiful. Hearing his words of determination and hope was beautiful. Watching him with Biden, with Michelle and his girls, was beautiful.

The backlash from the losers of the election, however: not beautiful. Tom walked out of he Greek class Tuesday night, shortly after the election was decided, looked up at the sky and faked a surprised reaction as he said to his classmates "Well, I guess Armageddon hasn't come yet". He was joking, but many were not with their asinine responses to the Obama win. And it was just so ugly and disgusting.

But at the end of it all, this is what we have:

President Barack Hussein Obama

Beautiful.

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