It has been about a year since money has been tight. And I think I've forgotten how to deal with it.
I got a paycheck from A&M and Maranatha this month, so I wasn't too worried about us being ok for money, even though Tom doesn't have a job yet. But we paid $300 in tuition (leaving the rest of the $4000 plus to students loans, a tiny grant and a random act of kindness from my aunt) and then $450 in books (Greek Lexicons or whatever the hell you call those things are pricey), and loads more getting our cars up to par in California (smog inspection, registration, drivers licenses, blah blah blah). And then there were the nights that I could not bring myself to cook, and all I wanted were french fries and burgers and xtra large diet cokes. And then I needed a nerdy rolling briefcase for school, because I am breaking my back every day using my current bag, and I can't walk through a door without dropping a lunch sack, or a water bottle, or a stack of papers. And then Gracie and Riley were dying in the heat and our razor needs to be sharpened and we couldn't shave them down without a proper razor, so we took them to the pet spaw (clever, clever) for haircuts more expensive than the ones we get ourselves. And we pay $1350 in rent and we needed fertilizer for the grass and a new sprinkler to go with it and the list goes on and on... all that to say that money is TIGHT as it can be. And I'm not doing so well trusting the Lord with it.
But I know I'm just being a baby. We can pay the bills, and we do have savings, and everything will be ok. And things are going so well for us, and SO MANY things have been provided so far. I mean seriously, I go just a few weeks without being loaded down with generosity, and I start freaking out that the Lord won't deliver the next load. When will I learn?
I blame it on being an exhausted teacher. This excuse has been getting me a lot of grace these days.
I got a paycheck from A&M and Maranatha this month, so I wasn't too worried about us being ok for money, even though Tom doesn't have a job yet. But we paid $300 in tuition (leaving the rest of the $4000 plus to students loans, a tiny grant and a random act of kindness from my aunt) and then $450 in books (Greek Lexicons or whatever the hell you call those things are pricey), and loads more getting our cars up to par in California (smog inspection, registration, drivers licenses, blah blah blah). And then there were the nights that I could not bring myself to cook, and all I wanted were french fries and burgers and xtra large diet cokes. And then I needed a nerdy rolling briefcase for school, because I am breaking my back every day using my current bag, and I can't walk through a door without dropping a lunch sack, or a water bottle, or a stack of papers. And then Gracie and Riley were dying in the heat and our razor needs to be sharpened and we couldn't shave them down without a proper razor, so we took them to the pet spaw (clever, clever) for haircuts more expensive than the ones we get ourselves. And we pay $1350 in rent and we needed fertilizer for the grass and a new sprinkler to go with it and the list goes on and on... all that to say that money is TIGHT as it can be. And I'm not doing so well trusting the Lord with it.
But I know I'm just being a baby. We can pay the bills, and we do have savings, and everything will be ok. And things are going so well for us, and SO MANY things have been provided so far. I mean seriously, I go just a few weeks without being loaded down with generosity, and I start freaking out that the Lord won't deliver the next load. When will I learn?
I blame it on being an exhausted teacher. This excuse has been getting me a lot of grace these days.
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