Skip to main content
So, we spent last week in LA. I had 2 interviews(the second one being randomly set up by email the day I arrived in California) and we searched long and hard for apartments/houses. I thought that having my interview(the first one, which is the job I REALLY, REALLY want) on the day we arrived would be helpful, because it would get it out of the way and make the rest of the trip easier. But instead, the enemy (and my fearful, self-critical nature) chose to repeatedly tell me about the stupidity of every single thing I did in the interview, and I had to constantly fight for truth(and for my sanity) throughout the remainder of the trip. These are the times when I am the least fun to be married to, and my husband showed a ton of patience in dealing with my fragile, beaten-up self.

And then there was the fact that house searching was depressing as hell. So, needless to say, the week wasn't exactly the vacation for which I had been hoping. Though we did seek the Lord more than we have in... a really long time. I needed so much prayer, and the whole trip reminded us of the HUGE step of faith we are taking in moving out there, and that resulted in more prayer. And all that prayer was just good for us.

We flew into Austin on Sunday and then immediately drove back to College Station. And during the drive, through the fields and fields of green empty space, I realized how much I have come to love Texas. Though I'm sure we will also grow to love California, it was so very good to be back home. And it will be so very hard to leave this place.

On the drive home, I made Tom search his ipod for a song we haven't listened to in ages, and it caused us both to savor the beauty surrounding us...

40 Acres

Out on these Texas plains you can see for a million lives
And there's a thousand exits between here and the state line
About the last time that I saw you
You said call me Pandora, call me a fool

And I'm thinking this view it could do you some good
So drop these scales and take a look

There's 40 acres and redemption to be found
Just along down the way
There is a place where no plow blade has turned the ground
And you will turn it over, 'cause out here hope remains
'Cause out here hope remains...

Out here the Texas sky is as big as the sea
And you're alone in your room like an island floating free
Your spirit's hanging in a bottle out on a tree
You say that you're the black sheep, I say you're still family

So throw that bottle to the waves
They'll bring you in to me and from the shore you will see

Out here the Texas rain is the hardest I've ever seen
It'll wash your house away, but it'll also make you clean
Now these rocks they are crying too
And this whole land is calling out for you

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Olivia Marilyn Rich

Hi friends! Looks like I blogged in 2018 a total of...zero times. I did start a lot of drafts, but none made it to publishing. I'm hoping to maybe get back into blogging (like, at least more than zero times in 2019), but I realized that until I can give any life updates, I need to post SOMETHING about baby #2's arrival. According to my blog, I'm still 9 weeks pregnant with her, but she is now 15 months old. So here is the completed version of her birth story that I attempted to write last year. In order to tell Livvie's birth story, I need to record her pregnancy. It was hard to write about during it, harder to write about it after it. I'm feeling less connected to it now- it is a hazy memory of misery in my mind. I know it was awful, but I can't quite remember just how awful. I guess this is how people have more babies, as the memories are slowly swallowed up by the heavenliness of the baby outside of the womb. The most difficult part of my pregnancies is...

'Til We Finally Meet

When we awoke you were not to be You never swam in our blue sea Now you’ve gone to different oceans Than the one we floated our hopes in When we lost our baby, I did not know how to grieve. So I didn't. I treated it like a failed cycle and put my hand to the plow, pulling my heart and body toward the next thing. We will get pregnant again, I told myself. That will make it all better. Lets pretend this never happened. You were a breaking in the clouds We barely said these things aloud There was a question you were the answer We heard music you were the dancer But in the in-between time, waiting for my body to recover so we could begin treatment again, it eventually became too much to ignore that we had a child. Two children, I guess, though my mind can't possibly comprehend the existence of that other one, the empty sac that never grew beyond four or five weeks. But that beautiful miracle on the ultrasound scream, the sound of the doctor exclaiming "There's a baby with ...

IVF update

We completed our first IVF cycle (minus the transfer)! For those are interested, here's an update on how it went. Stims I was looking forward to the stimming process, with all the sciency needles and vials. And it was fun for awhile, until my follicles (eggs) started growing. Then it started to get old and very uncomfortable. But I responded so well! For our IUI's, I usually had very little response at the first ultrasound. But for my first IVF ultrasound, I already had a great number of follicles growing with an E2 (estrogen level) of 937! And then things just ballooned. Two days later, I had 27 follicles. Then 39. I triggered with 39 follicles and an E2 of 4540. One of the reasons they pushed the number of follicles was due to my left ovary, which they were concerned they might not be able to reach for retrieval. For most of the stimming process, it was hidden underneath my uterus. So they wanted to make sure my right had a good amount of mature follicles, and it di...