Buried Hopes

[caption id="attachment_1477" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo Credit: khrawlings via Compfight cc [/caption] Yesterday, I wrote about my experience taking Communion , and today I wanted to add to that by sharing some thoughts from Jonathan Martin, taken from his book Prototype . God is visibly present in the world in two principal ways: through the people of God and through this meal; both are manifestations of the body of Christ. Yet here is the irony: if the scandal of Jesus was that He was always touching the wrong people and inviting the wrong people to the table--how on earth can we think the Communion meal now is for the extra holy or the super spiritual? To say we need to be completely cleaned up before Communion is like saying we need to get well so we can take our medication. Though it is true that the apostle Paul gives a strong warning about Communion, the context is very particular. Apparently, there were some in Corinth who, mirrori...

I stumble out of bed on Sunday morning, feeling "off" immediately. Grief has grown weighty with the week; it bears down on my heart. Depression hangs around me like a dark cloud. Prayers seem lifeless. I drink my coffee and try to read. But I can't focus. I can't make sense of the prayers. My heart can't find meaning in the words. I struggle through and drink more coffee. I go to church, and I try to smile. I'm anxious. I'm tired. I don't want to greet people. I'm angry that I'm not okay. I look at the babies and the pregnant women, and I think about how far along I would be right now. Had our babies lived. I sing along during worship. Some words resonate with my heart. Others don't. I sit down, and I pray. The ushers pass out the communion elements. I take a sliver of a cracker and a cup of juice. I hold the cracker in my hand, roll it around in my fingers, feel the dust as it crumbles. I put it in my mouth, and I slowly crush it with my t...

[caption id="attachment_968" align="aligncenter" width="737"] Photo Credit: Nebojsa Mladjenovic via Compfight cc [/caption] Do not let the foreigner joined to the Lord say, “The Lord will surely separate me from his people”; and do not let the eunuch say, “I am just a dry tree.” For thus says the Lord: To the eunuchs who keep my sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give, in my house and within my walls, a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off. Isaiah 56:3-5 I love these kinds of verses, the ones that boast of the inclusiveness of God. I especially enjoy finding them in the Old Testament, where verses like these can seem scarce. Despite the fact that Deuteronomy 23:1  quite bluntly bans eunuchs from the assembly, the prophet Isaiah declares that they are welcome. Though they may feel like useless, dry trees, they are invited to dwell ...

As my last post expressed, I am by no means a Lenten expert. If you are looking for help with Lent, I would point you to Rachel Held Evans or Kari . Most of my resources come from them. But of their suggestions, these are some of the ones I'm finding helpful right now. Wondrous Encounters ,  Richard Rohr I loved Rohr's advent devotional and have read it two years in a row. So far, I like the Lenten devotional even better. He wrote it during a Lenten hermitage in Arizona in 2010, and it reads as though it was birthed out of contemplation and prayer. I like him because he is okay wrestling with the Bible, and it seems like the people who are okay wrestling with the Bible are the ones that can bring out the most beauty from it. His words are challenging, refreshing and hopeful. [caption id="attachment_1365" align="aligncenter" width="300"] From Wondrous Encounters, the Friday after Ash Wednesday.[/caption] Pray as you go These are daily, 10-12...

On the morning of Ash Wednesday, I texted Tom and told him that I have a crush on the church calendar . I admire it from afar, but I don't know how to go about getting to know it. He thought this was a weird way to phrase it, and with all my talk about sexy Jesus , I can see why he would be perplexed by my lustful language toward the sacred these days. But I am fascinated with these historical days of liturgy and preparation. This past December, I dove head first into  Advent , and it was a very special time for me. It gave expression to my ache and longing, and it was the first time in my life that my heart felt prepared for Christmas. I want to do the same with Easter, to participate in Lent and observe Ash Wednesday and Holy Week, but I am not schooled in these things. I have a very "low church" evangelical background; I know about the four spiritual laws and getting saved and believers baptism, but I get lost in lectionaries and the Book of Common Prayer. I have grown...

We went to see the Son of God movie the other night, and I will admit that I was very skeptical about it. I don't usually like movies made from my favorite stories, as it's rare that someone else will be able to capture the particular meaning I found in them. Imagination is better for these things, and enactments on screen threaten to spoil the movies in my mind. And when it comes to the Jesus stories, there are many movies in my mind that I don't want spoiled. Then there's the fact that the gospels were not written as entertainment, nor were they designed to include a very handsome Jesus. Tom keeps telling me to stop talking about sexy Jesus, but I do not understand why they can't find someone who actually looks like a poor middle eastern man . I would like a Jesus that would be stopped by a TSA agent, a Jesus that we would imagine visiting a Mosque rather than a Church. Our Messiah had "no form or majesty that we should look at him"( Is. 53:2 ). The Je...