Buried Hopes

[caption id="attachment_934" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo Credit: c@rljones via Compfight cc [/caption] In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. Genesis 1:1-4 I am not a creative person. When we put up our Christmas tree, I place ornaments any which-way, and Tom comes behind me, rearranging them in a more appealing pattern. He does the decorating in our house, I complain about how much money it will cost us. I have an awful time putting together an outfit, and I know that adding jewelry would help things, but it takes extra time and it makes my brain hurt to try to figure out what to pair with what. I have been writing a little more recently, and because I ...

His disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can." Matthew 19:10-12 One of the most difficult parts of life is being different from everyone else and feeling excluded from the "normal" crowd. I have lived most of my life feeling different in some way. As a child, I was extremely introverted and painfully shy. We moved around a lot, from Canada to Arkansas to Oklahoma to Louisiana, and I felt like an outcast in each new school I attended. I tried to keep track of all my differences and do everything I could to suppress them, but it was hard. I still stumble over words, because I forget the righ...

In its peculiar way lamenting is an act of faith because it speaks to our understanding that things are not as they should be. Enumo Okoro ,  Silence and Other Surprising Invitations of Advent I loved this quote from my morning Advent reading, and it fueled the post I wrote on Saturday. It felt good to lament, and I felt freer afterward. It is scary to be vulnerable, but it is scarier to feel alone. I'm thankful for those who hear my laments and respond with care, reminding me that I am surrounded by a loving and believing community. Another peculiar thing about lament is that it opens you up to gratitude. It's as if allowing yourself to see and share the darkness in your heart is the only way to notice all the light shining through the crevices.Yes, some things are very, very bad. But other things are good. Admitting that certain things are broken in ways they should not be makes me aware of other things that are good in ways they should not be. It opens me up to see grace. I ...

"Christians recognize the four weeks of Advent as a time to anticipate the birth of the Christ child and the second coming of Christ at final judgment. During Advent we repent of the habits and practices that turn us away from the loving God who is always reaching out to be reconciled to us. We want to become a people who seek after God and who cultivate patience as we wait for divine justice to bring peace and freedom to an aching world." Enumo Okoro, Silence and Other Surprising Invitations of Advent I have always loved Christmas, but I have also always found it lacking. Christmas day rarely lives up to the weeks of anticipation before it, and as much as I love opening presents, they have never satisfied the ache inside of me for more . It always come too soon and leaves too early. I feel sucked in to the whirlwind of Christmas joy and then flung out before I can really experience or appreciate it. When we joined a church community and I began following Jesus as a teenager,...